Start: Las Vegas, Nevada
End: Las Vegas, Nevada
States: Nevada
The blog post was originally titled 'A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum Shops', however the more I thought about it everything about Las Vegas is a little funny. Funny strange, not funny ha-ha. This is the second time I've been here, I didn't like it the first time and the second time only seemed to confirm my first impressions. You couldn't pay me enough to live here, it would literally be like living in hell. Not only is it hot enough to melt just about anything and so dry I've had a constant nose bleed, but its also ugly as sin. Now I know its home to millions of people who love it, my family members included. That's fine, its just really not for me. I think Vegas is a prime example of the different strokes for different folks mentality. I know that my family members hate the weather in New England, the hassle of having to shovel snow and scrape your car. They think its dull because every night you don't have the option of a hundred different shows to see. Personally I don't even like the hassle of going to the movies let alone having to haul myself to a show with fifteen thousand other people, most of them on vacation.
I think the thing I really don't get is how you live on the edge, surrounded by nothing but desert. Now if you live on the edge of that forest, conceivably there is something there. you could live there, or cut it down, but still its a living thing. The wilderness beyond the edge here is just wasteland, if you walk into it odds are you won't come back of even be found. The lead news story today was about an older woman who disappeared in April, named Billy Jean. Despite search teams and K-9 dogs covering the area she lived in she hadn't been found. The house where she and her husband lived was on the fringes of Vegas, abutting the desert. They assumed she had wandered off and died out there, presumably never to be seen again. Can you imagine that? The cops just throwing up their hands and saying, 'well its the desert, no point in looking out there, we won't find her anyways'. Well turns out she and her husband we hoarders and he just found her body buried under a pile of crap in their house. Saw a shoe sticking out and said, "Oh my!" Or insert the appropriate expletive of your choice that you would use should you discover an almost five month old decomposing corpse in your house. Its a funny place Las Vegas.
So we did Vegas, not big, not flashy, just bare bones, get in, get out, see the sights. We had lunch at Mon Ami Gabi at the Paris, a great place for people watching and to see the water show in the Bellagio fountains. Then we drove down the strip so Alyssa could get some good pictures of as many hotels as possible without dying in the 108 degree weather. Eating outside is only tolerable because of cloud cover and the misters you find on every railing at outdoor restaurants. Then we parked at Caesar's Palace to see the Forum shops and watch the talking statue show. The shows of course are any weak willed female's (like myself) dream running the gamut of high end to commonplace. The statue show, which happens on the hour is perhaps the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Clearly the intention is to show off the fountains and the special effects attached to them. The statues drop down and animatronic figurines pop up. There is a dying, wise old king and his two children (I don't remember the names, I was too busy laughing) fighting for the throne when he dies, the daughter of water and the son of fire. There are of course also many many opportunities for these two characters to shoot streams of water and flame at one another. I'm not precisely sure how it ended, I know neither got to rule and there was a dragon, perhaps he became king? Like I said it is a funny place.
My aunt, uncle, and cousin all kept trying to tell us about great bars and shows, ladies nights we should hit up and mechanical bulls we might like to ride. Alyssa and I we both slightly tempted by the show called Thunder Down Under (Chippendales Aussie style, put that shrimp on you barbie), but resisted and undoubtedly are better for it. So here it is 10:15 Vegas time and I have showered and am in bed typing this, Alyssa is also in bed and we are the two lamest roadtippers to ever roll through Vegas. And there is nothing wrong with that.
